You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
