And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
