Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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