I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
