some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
