I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
