More tranny stories later!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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