Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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