We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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