Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My breasts were aching with rage.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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