How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
