so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
meet me or not, i'm out of control
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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