So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
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She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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