Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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