The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
