Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
