I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
