I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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