She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
