addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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