If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
