Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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