I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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