..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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