worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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