my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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