I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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