i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
