community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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