I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
