How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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