i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
