no, he came in my armpit
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
