Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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