oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
