I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
