i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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