yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we made out on top of his cat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
