i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
