I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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