i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
