hotel room ftw
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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