That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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