I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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