I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
