How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
