Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
