honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize