At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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