Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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