we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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