I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone shit on the floor
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
