Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
