We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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