My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
