so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't put those talents on a resume
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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