just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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