If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
