then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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