Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
