Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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