yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was like eating out sand paper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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