the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
