That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
