"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have aggressive nipples.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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